Archive for the ‘The Girls (and Boy)’ Category
Thanks to all who expressed their sympathy and sent us good wishes on Kate’s passing – on here, via email, on Facebook, and IRL. Even though I know it was the right time to let her go, I truly didn’t realize how hard losing her would be. I still get the lump in my throat and the tears welling up at the most inappropriate times and I still look up every now and again because I think I’ve seen her out of the corner of my eye. I guess you never get past that completely.
The vet called today. Katie’s ashes were returned and they were letting us know that we could come pick them up. I got the message this morning and promptly chose to completely ignore it. I just couldn’t bear the thought of walking in there and bringing my girl home in a box/bag. J went and picked her up this evening. It makes me sad to see her reduced to a small plastic box, albeit nicely packaged and gift bagged with a poem on the side. I don’t know where J put her. I don’t really want to know right now but it does make me feel better to know that what’s left of her is home with us.
Our other dogs are acting out a bit. Sophie has become very territorial and won’t go far from my side. She’s even snapped at a couple of people – not altogether unheard of but she snapped at our neighbor the other day and that is someone she knows and usually tolerates. Emma went through a spell of not eating but seems to be rebounding from that. The cats? Could care less, as far as I can tell. (Yes, I said cats. Plural. Somehow the second feral kitten we caught seems to have decided she lives here. Inside. And now has a name – EllieCat. Did I mention that I’m a dog person and don’t really like cats? So could someone please tell me why I fall for the hard luck cat story every single time? Well, not every time. Thanks to the magic of Facebook I did find a very, very good home for the other feral kitten.)
Ava and I have a routine where she’ll ask me where every member of the family is before she settles into bed for the night. It was physically painful the first 600 times she asked where Katie was. It still stings when she asks, which she does at least once per day. I know she’ll forget soon. I hope. I’m tired of trying to figure out how to tell a 2 year old where Katie is. I still don’t know what the proper response is. Usually I just say that Katie isn’t here.
Life moves on, of course. We continue to get out and about with Ava, although my picture taking has slowed a bit over the last few weeks – in part due to apathy, partly due to many of our recent activities involving copious amounts of water, and also due to the fact that J misplaced my camera charger which left me stranded without my good camera for a bit. I’m spoiled and forget that sometimes even a bad picture is better than none at all. But sometimes it’s also fun to just be in the moment without trying to record it all.
A much needed and long awaited week off is in the near future. No major plans other than a short jaunt down to Myrtle Beach and some local act-like-a-tourist-while-avoiding-the-timeshare-people fun on tap. I can’t wait.
August 23, 1993 - June 30, 2009
We made the so hard decision to put her down today. J held her while they did it, we both openly sobbed right along with the vet tech, and she went very peacefully. While I know it was the right decision to make it just seems incredibly wrong.
I hate this. There’s a Katie sized hole in the house tonight.
I’m somebody’s mama. It boggles the mind. But yes, Mother’s Day v. 2 was still as awesome as it was the first time around last year.
Someone asked me the other day if being a Mom is everything I thought it would be and I can honestly say that it’s been so much more – maybe because I had few expectations (call me clueless) as to what it would be like. Hands down it has been the best experience in my life so far and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, despite the fact that I’m convinced that the age of 2 is trying to kill me slowly and painfully (OMG, the random, instantaneous, and unpredictable mood swings – where, oh where do they come from?). Sadly, my sister tells me that 3 is worse and 4 even more so. I didn’t ask why because I don’t want to know. I can only handle 2, and sometimes not very well at that, right now.
And I know I have real life friends reading my blog who are still probably shaking their heads and saying “WTF…who are you and where did you put A?” since I spent most of my life proclaiming that I didn’t want kids and planned to live childfree. What I really meant, apparently, is that I didn’t particularly want bio kids nor did I want to parent anytime in my 20′s or early 30′s. I shudder to think of me (us) having kids any sooner so our timing (and China’s) really was perfect.
Since we just spent a little over $4k when we sent our dossier to our agency on 5/7/09 for their review, packaging, and forwarding to China, I really didn’t want J to spend any more money on a gift for me. I already have the best Mother’s Day gift ever in Ava so nothing could top that anyway. I knew he wouldn’t let it slip by unnoticed though and he didn’t disappoint.
He let me sleep in a bit (okay, only 30 minutes or so but I’ll take what I can get) before carrying in my baby kid (can’t call her my baby anymore because she tells me NO! when I do it) carrying 2 Mother’s Day cards that she refuses to hand to me and proceeds to open herself. He’s also carrying the gift she made for me at daycare (which I love just as much as I did last year’s gift) despite the fact that it looks like a mugshot.
See:
She finger painted the vase and flower herself (with help, I’m sure) and I was beyond delighted with it. One of the best gifts ever, mugshot or not.
This was last year’s gift which I always meant to post a picture of and never did. Caveat: the frame it was in was much uglier as you can see and I felt no guilt in discarding it since Ava was only 13 months old and clearly had no part in the tacky frame making with push pins and a black sharpie.
I swapped it out and have displayed this in my hallway all year.
Since I now have two items I’m starting a shrine on top of a cabinet. One that Ava can’t reach or even see since she’s totally obsessed with the flower she made and spends an inordinate amount of time trying to procure it no matter where it is. I’m hoping for out of sight, out of mind although that concept no longer works as well as it used to.
I can’t wait to see what next year’s project looks like!
And since we’re talking about Mother’s Day…the last 16 months have certainly made me appreciate my own mom even more than I did before. She’s always been awesome (although maybe I didn’t think so when I was a teenager) but she’s taught me how to be a good mom myself and given me some truly innovative ways on how to control and outsmart a wayward teen girl, which I’m sure will come in handy down the road. What else can I say really? She’s my mom and I love her so I’m going to share (and probably embarrass her with) some old photos.
My uncle (I think) brought this grass skirt back to my mom from Hawaii (I think). My grandmother thought it was so scandalous that she burned it in the fireplace.
And this is one of my favorite pictures of all times. My mom and her three sisters posing in their bathing suits. Love it!
What a rotten day.
Ava always has a runny nose. She has from Day 1 in China and it’s rarely let up – maybe a week or two here and there but she keeps a cold and gets fairly frequent sinus infections. I’ve raised the issue with her pediatrician a number of times and she finally referred us to a pediatric allergist affiliated with the local children’s hospital. It took over 3 months to get the appointment so apparently there’s a pretty high demand for her services.
I pushed for this because I too have allergies and the cycle I was observing with the sinus infections is very similar to mine. I’ve long suspected there was an underlying issue underneath all the daycare bugs.
J took Ava today to the doctor today and he said it was awful. They did 12 skin pricks across her back while J had to restrain her so it could be done. He was also unable to pick her up afterwards because nothing could touch her back while they were waiting to see what, if anything, she would react to. She couldn’t sit down, lay down, or do much of anything other than stand up so all J could really do was hold her hands while she sobbed inconsolably. I made the mistake of asking J if she cried for me – and he said she did – which made me feel like crap for not going with them to the appointment and being there for her — even though I would have probably made things worse by sobbing right alongside her.
After the 2 hour visit finally ended Ava immediately went to sleep in her carseat. She slept so deeply that J was able to bring her in and put her down for a very early nap that lasted 3 hours. I think sleep was probably a way for her to retreat from all the stress of the visit – that, and she was up an hour earlier than normal to get ready to go to the doctor.
Once she got up it was time for J to take our oldest dog to the vet. She’s 15.5 years old and has severe cataracts and it appears one of them is starting to deteriorate and is causing blood to pool underneath the lens of the eye. Apparently this isn’t uncommon and she’s not in pain but it worried me so off to the doctor she went too. They’ve prescribed steroid drops to use until the blood clears and halfheartedly suggested running some tests on Katie but J nixed it and they agreed – we’re looking at ourselves as doggie hospice for her now and don’t want to do any unnecessary procedures or shots that will stress her. The vet actually said that Katie seems pretty healthy considering her age so that’s a good thing.
Back to Ava:
She reacted to a number of things so I was right – allergies are causing and/or exacerbating some of these respiratory issues. The good news (I guess) is that there are no food allergies.
The bad news is that she’s pretty much allergic/sensitive to every tree known to man. Problematic around here as there are lots of trees. I think there were a few grasses thrown in for good measure.
She’s also highly reactive to dust mites. That was a big one.
She’s barely allergic to cats.
But for the karmic/cosmic joke of the day…she’s definitely allergic to dogs. Yeah, those creatures that run our house around here are contributing to the problem. The one thing I hoped for when dreaming about our future child was that she wouldn’t be allergic to dogs and, wouldn’t you know it – our daughter is.
The doctor asked some questions and was pleased to hear that Ava doesn’t have any dermatologic reaction to the dogs so she said there’s no reason why they can’t live in harmony with a few modifications around the house such as a mega expensive HEPA filter (at least one on each floor of the house) and some basic precautions such as more frequent hand washing, ensuring no more open mouth dog kisses (if only we can get Ava to keep her mouth closed while kissing), and more frequent dusting/vacuuming. The dogs are already not allowed in her room (or anywhere else) upstairs anyway so that remains a dog free zone. The doc has also given us orders that Zyrtec is part of our daily routine from now on and we may have to add Flonase on a seasonal basis.
Poor baby. She had a rough day.
Updated stats at 23 months and 2 weeks old.
Height: 32 inches
Weight: 23 pounds
I’m so thrilled to have this under (and around and in and undecorating) our Christmas tree this year.
And this, too.
My first baby. 15 years old. She’s winding down so we’re just grateful for every day that she’s still with us.