Archive for January, 2009
After a month-ish long break, gymnastics started up again for Ava and it was not a moment too soon to provide us all with a time and place to release some 22 month old energy. Ava clearly remembered what this place was all about and was so excited to get back into all of the jumping and running about. She continues to love, love, love the balance beam and asked for more every time she had to get down from the big beam to give others a turn. She freaked out (slightly) once when they introduced a new activity of holding on and swinging Tarzan-style from a rope. Only one of the kids in her age group (18-24 months) thought it was a good idea so we politely applauded and I let Ava happily skip that activity and amuse herself by crawling through a tunnel.
(Side note: the parent in line behind me kept yelling at her kid to hurry up. Don’t know why – it’s not like we were in a race or anything. Do you know how disconcerting it was to hear Andale, Andale at top volume the WHOLE time we were there? I really wanted to tell her to relax. Then when the kids were on the vault (little teeny baby vault) it was Arriba, Arriba. Argh. Mom – chill! This is supposed to be fun, not competition.)
Ava’s gymnastics class is run by a neighboring city’s parks and rec department so there are a couple of age groups that utilize the gym at the same time. Abby, who is just a little bit older than Ava, is also taking a class there. She and Ava aren’t in the same group but we’re in the gym at the same time so we can hang out before and after (and probably during once parents stop coming as we get further into the classes). It was so good to see them. It’s sad to say that even though we live only a few minutes away from each other and we keep up via blogs/email that we haven’t seen each other since last summer. Now we have a built in playdate (sort of) and after seeing the girls together we WILL have to get them together more often so they can build a relationship. Let me tell you. The cuteness – it was unbearable.
You can see for yourself.
Catching up on the gossip, I guess.
Holding hands – my heart melted.
Precious!
We said they had to go Bye-Bye – so they told us Bye-Bye!
See, I told you the cuteness was just too much for words.
More pictures on Abby’s page. Go see them here.
Happy Spring Festival! Happy Chinese New Year! Happy Lunar New Year!
Whatever you call it, today ushers us in Year 4706 on the Chinese calendar which means it is now the Year of the Ox.
We had many good intentions to decorate and celebrate but the latest round of sickness sort of wiped all of those out. If Ava were a little older and would remember any of this then we probably would have roused ourselves from the sofa and made more of an effort but we got a pass this year that we won’t have again so we took it. We will be attending our local FCC CNY celebration early next month so it’s not like we’re totally disregarding it but we just couldn’t make ourselves get out to any of the community events that happened this weekend.
We did, however, make a brief foray out into the world on Friday and visited a local asian owned home decor store where I bought a fabulous ox to display this year. It’s already found a spot on the mantel where it will stay until next year when it will be replaced with a tiger. Well, heck. It looks like we’re starting a tradition and I didn’t even mean to!
Here’s our ox. Isn’t she marvelous?
We are done, done, done with Bethany. Well, almost. I still owe them some pictures and they owe me a letter for the tax people verifying what some of the receipts we got in China are for – but once all that’s done I can wash my hands of them completely.
We had our last post placement meeting (#4). We had another new social worker, so we’ve now worked with a grand total of 5 social workers through 1 agency to complete Ava’s adoption.
They handle me with kid gloves now. I imagine that there are probably big red stickers all over my file indicating what a difficult ‘patient’ I am but I’ve gotten progressively more vocal over the problems we’ve had in dealing with the local office and Bethany in general. Something must have finally clicked after the last survey I filled out though because I finally got a call from the local director a couple of weeks ago asking if we could talk. We had a lengthy conversation where I provided very detailed and specific examples regarding the issues I had and I think that she finally listened. I hope so.
Anyway, the last visit took a grand total of about 15 minutes. I felt like we were rushed in and out, which was okay by me, and I’m not sure the social worker really listened to or cared about anything we said which was, again, okay by me. I’m sure she’d been told to tread carefully. I think she barely spoke to J at all and only acknowledged Ava once or twice.
Ava behaved wonderfully. She explored the office a bit with J in hot pursuit and then sat down on the floor beside the couch with a book in one hand and a cheese cracker in the other. She was pretty much good with that for about 8 more minutes until she decided to get my purse and drag it to the door saying “go, go, go” at the top of her lungs. Sounded like a good idea to me so we did.
We went to the mall afterwards. That’s a whole ‘nother post in itself.
I’ve alternated between weepy/teary and happy all day today. In a good way for both, of course.
It was one year ago today that Qi Xiao Bei was placed in our arms and we all began our new life as a family of three. It’s so hard to believe that a year with her has gone by so fast when all the years waiting seemed to drag on forever.
We left our hotel in Beijing really early on the morning of the 21st and headed to the airport where our group split and headed to 3 different provinces to meet our daughters and son. J and I were in the lobby to meet the others very early (really unusual as I’m late for everything) so we had plenty of time to ramp up the anxiety level although J and the other dads quickly started talking football to pass the time. The hotel packed a boxed breakfast for us which was absolutely horrid – I remember processed lunch meat of some sort and fruit (pears, maybe?) which we were told by the guide not to eat. I was a nervous wreck anyway and tossed mine without eating anything. The airport was huge and busy and I, along with several of the others, was feeling more than a little discombobulated (which is an unfamiliar feeling for me when it comes to travel as I’m usually pretty confident with it). Our facilitator was not traveling with us – she was leaving with another family who was traveling solo – so she got our bags checked, pointed us in the right direction, wished us good luck, and disappeared. There were 4 families heading to Hubei – with most of us being experienced travelers which helped. That said, going through security was not much fun at all. No clear cut rules and the lack of English made it a little nerve-wracking. We made it through security (finally) and took off at a gallop to the gate which was approximately 364 miles away and I’m truly not exaggerating very much. Oh my gosh, it was a hike and we way overpacked so we were toting far too many bags to gallop that far comfortably.
The flight itself must have been fine. To be honest, I don’t remember much about the flight except that there were plenty of people sneaking into the bathrooms to smoke and they kept feeding us every 10 minutes or so. I think the flight was only about an hour or maybe just over.
The Wuhan airport was much easier to navigate and our Hubei facilitator, Eric, was waiting for us right outside the luggage area. Again, too many bags and we were in desperate need of a restroom at this point so poor, patient Eric had to wait and wait on all of us to get it together. He finally loaded us up on a bus and we drove to the hotel. All I remember is that it was snowing and icy – no idea of how long it actually took us to drive from Point A to Point B. All I cared about by then is that we would be getting Ava that afternoon. He’d already confirmed that, despite the snow, the 4 babies were on their way to Wuhan from Qichun.
We checked into the hotel (very nice place – couldn’t tell you the name of it right now to save my life) and had a few minutes to get unpacked before we had to get on the road to go meet the babies. Let me tell you, it was quite a shock walking into a hotel room and finding a crib set up in there. That was kind of the moment that made it seem really, really real to me.
Once we got to the provincial affairs office and finally made it in to the building (Tip: don’t ever take the elevator in a Chinese building – people still smoke everywhere, including elevators, and it nearly killed me being in a smoky elevator smushed full of people) we were left to wait in a conference room. It was so cold in there. All of the employees of the building were wearing their coats and hats inside so I’m guessing it’s only ever barely heated. I kept taking my coat off, putting it back on, taking it off, etc. I must have been in an off cycle when they brought Ava in because it’s not on in any of the first pictures that I have with her.
The provincial officer came in and talked to the group about the harmonious period (essentially where we assumed temporary custody of Ava for the 24 hour period preceding her adoption) and we signed the paperwork for that.
By this point, they knew we were done for and the babies were brought in.
Ava was last through the door and was carried in by the orphanage director himself. I was frustrated because the other families had their babes in arms and were blocking my way so I finally elbowed through and got our girl at long last.
What I do regret is not taking a few moments to talk with the orphanage director at that time but I didn’t know (or care at that particular moment) that I wouldn’t see him again.
If you’re interested you can go back and read more about our day here.
Since J and I are still recovering from our weekend we had a low key celebration at home tonight. Chinese takeout was on the menu this year – ultimately we’ll let Ava help decide how/where we celebrate our got-each-other day. Tomorrow we’ll have cupcakes and balloons to celebrate her actual Adoption Day. Trust me, cupcakes and balloons are high livin’ to this particular 21 month old. She’ll probably think it’s Christmas all over again.
We’ve been in touch today with some of the families we traveled with. It truly is a bond that we’ll share with those families forever and I do hope that we can maintain these connections for the girls throughout the years.
I know this is a long, long post but I can sum it up like this:
J and I had a great life pre-Ava but, in retrospect, it was like living in black and white. She’s brought the technicolor (that we didn’t even know was missing) into our world and made it that much brighter.
Wanna know how to have the longest weekend of your life?
First you start with a recovering from food poisoning dad. Then you take said dad out for a light dinner with friends on Saturday evening where aforementioned dad decides it would be a good idea to tax his recovering, yet still fragile, digestive system with a large salad and a deep-fried, buffalo chicken sandwich with fries. Did I mention deep fried? And a very large carbonated drink?
Yes, Sunday saw a relapse in a big way.
Then you add in an all day Sunday PMS induced migraine for mom. Complete with visual auras, nausea, vomiting, and a complete inability to find the migraine meds just refilled on Wednesday afternoon. Good times, people. Good times.
To the previous two elements you must also introduce a 21 month old who is filled with all the stuff almost 2 year olds are filled with. Joy, energy, exuberance, obstinance, lack of patience, anger, laughter, SCREAMS (like an ice pick through my head), persistence, insatiable curiosity, and an uncanny ability to get just out of sight and go completely silent forcing one of us to get up and find her emptying the trash/trying to bottle feed the dog/emptying the tissue box.
I thought the day would never end.
The upside? J lost 4 pounds and I lost 3. There’s a silver lining.